The Days Are Long, The Years Are Short

Bumps and Dips

2011-04-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

Well, time changes so many things. After heartache for Abbie (and this us), as well as heeding the advice of people we respect and doing research, we scheduled an appointment with the head of special education for the school district. We were pretty much determined that we would advocate for Abbie to leave the school system and attend a private school. We agreed, however, under the head of special ed's request, to allow Abbie to try the other elementary school in the district. The school is actually about 1/10 of a mile from the church where Rick works. I went and observed first, and then once I approved, Abbie began the process of moving over to the new school. Change is difficult for her, but she did really well. Now, a month later, I can honestly say it was the best decision ever. I am devastated at losing her speech therapist, who is such an amazing therapist and person, but the new environment is much more appropriate. She is integrated during the day, into a class of children that were handpicked for their good behavior and kindness to others. The classroom teacher has a much different [philosophy than her previous one. All the desks are set into small clusters, encouraging teamwork and socialization. There are 6 special education students and about 14 "typical". There is an aid that works with each cluster/group. There is a lot of group and team work. In the afternoon, Abbie is in a small class of 6 students, where there is more focused teaching and sensorimotor learning. Abbie has thrived under this. Now instead of crying and wanting us to pray the whole way to school, she talks and smiles the whole way and hen runs into school. Now we are watching to see how her learning growth goes. Thanks to everyone who has prayed for her and us.

On another front, Brooks was attacked by a dog. He went to a hug a friend's dog, and the dog went for his face. Rick was with him, and he had just started to pray with the guy when it happened. His face was bleeding, so Rick rushed him to the ER. Long story short, we saw a plastic surgeon (which was a nightmare experience for him). Now we lather him in sunscreen and are hoping the scarring is minimal. We have put getting Brooks's headshots on hold until the scars fade a bit. An agent asked to sign him, saying he would be perfect! He was such a gentleman and was talking to her like a grown up. She melted and gushed all over him. We only went to see her because ever since seeing Freckleface Strawberry (Broadway show by Julianne Moore), he has wanted to be up on stage. I was in my first play at 4 or 5, and would have killed for the opportunity that he is going to get.
Well, that is about it for now!

Tough Stuff

2011-01-27T10:36:00.000-08:00

Tough stuff...that is what I am dealing with now. You never understand when your parents tell you to enjoy being a child and not grow up too fast. This week I have definitely longed for those "ignorant" childhood days. Most of you know Abbie has Global Delay, along with a myriad of other learning disabilities. Due to these but her social/emotional intelligence being very high, these delays have begun to cause major problems at school. Abbie is feeling left out, anxious, and sad. She processes thing and picks up on people's feelings/attitudes well beyond her 6 1/2 years of age. Because of those concerns, as well as our concern that Abbie is not being taught appropriately, we are in a major exploration phase. Unfortunately, in this real world, those major explorations cost a fortune. Rick teases me that I would spend every penny on Abbie if I could, and he is right. I guess it is good I am not the head of the household, or we would be living in boxes by now!!
So we are looking into having a huge neuropsychological evaluation done for Abbie (all for the low price of $5000) and then finding her a private school that could better meet her needs. Please continue to pray for us. Below are some verses I cling to.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 16:12-15 “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear. ¹³ But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come. ¹⁴ He will glorify me because it is from me that he will receive what he will make known to you. ¹⁵ All that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the Spirit will receive from me what he will make known to you.”

2011-01-21T05:44:00.000-08:00

One-half of One-tenth of One Percent

2011-01-15T10:01:00.001-08:00

I am part of One-half of One-tenth of One Percent! That is a mouthful! The emcee at the start line to the Disneyworld marathon said that only 1/2 of 1/10 of 1% of people will ever run a marathon. For the life of me, I do not know why he did not say 1/20th of 1%, but hey, to each his own!

The weeks leading up to the marathon made me a little nervous. Between being sick and too smart to run in the cold, I was forced to hit the treadmill and rest more than I would choose. All my other marathon friends (or should I say fellow 1/20th of 1% friends) told me I would be fine. I tried to settle my spirit - and my stomach- and just trust.

As luck would have it (my bad luck that is), a huge storm came in starting the night before I was supposed to leave for Disney. The storm was to last for 2 days, which would mean me missing my marathon. Sweet Mom came to the rescue. She came early, and we caught a flight at 7 am to get us out before it got bad. It was my first time to fly Jet Blue, and let me tell you, I will always try them first. While Rick snored away, I watched a movie on my own personal tv (thanks JB). The flight attendants were actually nice, too, which is a rarity these days.

Once we landed, Disney took care of us. We did not even have to pick up our luggage. We went straight for the bus that took us to our resort - Caribbean Beach. If you know me at all, you know I am a hotel snob. The room definitely did not meet my standards, but the amenities were kickin'! Rick and I were wiped out from only getting 3 hours sleep the night before, so we laid low that night. We actually had a code word "bubblegum" if the other person was getting on our nerves. If we said the code word, that told the other person he/she was getting on our nerves and to be quiet. We did not even have to use it. My girlfriend and running partner had arrived the day before and picked up all my stuff, so I went to visit with her while Rick chillaxed.

Friday was a lay low day. We went to Downtown Disney and just "goofed" off. Haha - see my picture below!

Someone had recommended "Black Swan" to us, so being naive and trusting (and not seeing the poster that indicated it was a psychosexual thriller, we sat down to "enjoy" our movie. Suffice it to say, it was offensive, boring, and one of the worst movies I have ever seen! That means it will probably win an Academy Award this year. (: We did have a fabulous lunch at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant. We went shopping t the Expo, where I bought a shirt that said Team 413 on the front and had Philippians 4:13 and the verse written on the back. I was excited about wearing it during the marathon. Gd has changed me so much through the training for the marathon that I wanted to give Him glory throughout it. After that, we just chilled.

I knew I had to be up at 2 am to get to the Start line in time, so of course, I could not fall asleep. We had no one next to us the entire time, but that night there was someone staying next to us. They had very loud kids that stayed up very late. Grrrr!

2 AM came very early! God awoke me with energy and good health. We caught the bus and headed over to the Runner tents. I had paid extra money to be able to use the Runner's Retreat, which meant heat, breakfast, potties, and changing tents. Afterwards, it meant lunch.
We had to be in our corrals before 5 AM, so we started the 30 minute walk to the starting line around 4:30 am. There were 20,000 people running the marathon, so excitement was in the air!!! Our corral was set to start at 6 am. I usually have horrible lower leg pain the first 30 minutes, so I was a bit worried. I FELT NO PAIN!!

Throughout the race, there was music, entertainment, and Disney characters along the way. Some people stopped running to wait in long lines for pictures. Everybody chatted with each other, laughed, told stories, etc. It was quite "magical." My dream of a husband caught shuttles and ran all over to be at as many stops as he could. The picture below was around mile 19 or 20 I think.

I felt pretty good, hitting no wall until around Mile 23. Even then, it was not horrible. My asthma was starting to act up, so I had to slow down. My running partner and I did the last 3 miles Jeff Galloway style and actually ran them at a pretty decent pace. She and I rounded the corner at the end to a huge choir singing Kirk Franklin. We held hands and ran across the Finish Line.
After walking back to the tent, we met up with our husbands. We were still kind of in awe that we actually ran 26.2 miles and finished with a smile!

To say I was sore the next day is putting it very very mildly. I could not walk very well, but I was not going to miss Marathon Monday at the Disney parks. It was too cool. We chose Hollywood Studios. Everywhere I went people would congratulate me. (We were all wearing our medals and victory t shirts).

Now that it is over, the soreness gone, what is left is a pulled foot muscle, 2 toenails about to fall off, and the excitement of doing ti again next year!

If you have ever considered running a marathon, DO IT! It has truly changed me - down to the core of who I am. I have learned to worry less, embrace the moment but recognize it for what it is - just the moment. It has taught me to push when I need to, rest when I need to, and to remember my Nourishment (the Lord). I have learned it is ok to need a break and be weak, but we must recognize when our break is over. It has taught me so much more, but suffice it to say, God has led me victoriously through it all!

Christmas 2010, in part

2011-01-04T18:29:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year! I cannot believe how quickly this year went. More than anything this year, I have been blessed my God's goodness, amazing friendships, and such a joyous family. Now that my youngest is almost 4, I realize that time is so short. I want to tell everyone who becomes a mom for the first time that it goes by so fast and not to wish away even one sleepless night. Then I remember how annoying it was when other people said that to me, so I keep it quiet! I am still hoping Rick decides he wants one more, but it looks like only a divine intervention will let us have another one! (:

Christmas was an amazing whirlwind. The time between Thanksgiving and New Year's flew by! Because we were traveling to Germantown for Christmas, we had Santa come early to our house. I will post those pics/video soon. It was good to have our small family time together. Once we got to Tennessee, we hot the ground running...literally.

We had a Jingle Bell Run the morning of Christmas Eve for all family members interested in running a 3 mile route together. Lisa made us cute matching bandannas. Being the first year, we only had 7 people participate( out of about 30-35). Hopefully next year we will have more and add a Walker Group as well.

Then everyone, runner or not, met at my Aunt Dottie's house for breakfast and to decorate Christmas cookies. The kids love this.

They also got some good cousin bonding!

Once that was over, we had a few hours to rest up and get ready to have the whole family - aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, kids, etc. over to my parents' house. We always dress up, have a fancy dinner, and then we sit around and sing Christmas carols and have those that are actually talented sing solos. It is one amazing emotional, laughter filled night!

Abbie ate up the attention from her 2 pregnant aunts!

The next morning was Christmas!

We had the grandkids line up and walk down the stairs one at a time to their stockings.

We skipped my grandmother's this year, which was a bit sad, but it left time for us to spend as a smaller family. I never thought I would call a group of 15 smaller family! That night, we had everyone over again for soup and leftovers.

The week at my parents' house was well worth the 2 day drive there and 2 day drive back. Seeing my kids enjoy the family I grew up with and their cousins is such a blessing.

Abbie's Place

2010-12-17T11:11:00.001-08:00

Rick and I visited a school this morning in Stamford, CT that we might consider sending Abbie to next year. The school was impressive. The teacher/student ration was 1:4. All kids at the school have learning disabilities, with 70% being language/auditory processing issues. EVERY SINGLE teacher is a licensed special education teacher. The application process is arduous, but it has to be done quickly. Once we apply, if they feel Abbie might be a good candidate, she will be invited to attend school for 2 days there. After that, the teachers and therapists will meet to decide if she will be a good fit or not, and where she should be placed. Once all that is done, we start applying for financial aid. The school is a mere $40,000 a year(: so we would definitely need aid. Our only concern with it is her speech therapy would be much less intense than what she gets now. That is a huge concern, but the class size and environment would be one in which she could thrive and would not stand out like she does now. We are praying for God's timing, direction, and plan.

Those 4 Weeks

2010-12-17T10:52:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas time! How I love Christmas time. Before I had kids, I used to get so annoyed at radio stations that switched to all Christmas music for the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Now I am loving it! I jam out every time I am in the car. Before you have kids, the "mood" of Christmas is created for you. Once you become Mommy, you have the responsibility to create that "mood." Music gets me in the mood.

Speaking of the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas, the time has flown by! My parents flew up to New York for Thanksgiving weekend. Because they arrived late afternoon on Thanksgiving, I made the entire meal by myself. Can I brag? It was delicious!!! The turkey was a bit dry, but everything else was great. Nothing came from a box - it was all homemade from scratch. What is so funny to me is that it was last Thanksgiving that really set me on a path of cooking from scratch. Leigh, one of my best friends, and her family came up for Thanksgiving, and she and I made the meal together. I realized that it was not that hard. Since then, I have been a cooking machine!
Ok, so back to my weekend with my parents. My mom had hopes of doing major things like heading into NYC, but my dad just wanted to chill. He won. We piddled around the nearby area and really got to enjoy being together. The night before my parents left, we put up and decorated the tree together.

Then we worked on that "perfect" Christmas card picture. My mom helped me decorate the house for Christmas, too. I loved having my parents here. It made me a little sad that we live so far away, but I enjoyed the time for what it was.

We also got to host our annual Christmas party open to the entire church. Our house is smaller than the one we were in last year, so I was a bit nervous, but it all worked out. The party was a drop in, but once people got here, no one seemed willing to leave. That was fine by me - the more the merrier! We probably had about 80 people in all, which is not bad turnout. That is half our church!

Amidst holiday chaos, I am in the final weeks of marathon training. I have my second 20 mile run this weekend before I start tapering for the big day. That basically means the two weeks before Christmas will be made up of shorter runs, preparing my body to run the full 26 on January 9th. I am still very nervous, but I am getting more an more excited! My nerves are more about bathroom issues and what could go wrong. I know I have put in the hours training, so I am excited to put it to the test!

Now we are preparing to leave for Tennessee. All fifteen of us will be under one roof this year. I am so excited!!! Have a safe and merry Christmas!

From Trail to Life

2010-12-04T16:44:00.001-08:00

Well, I did it today - I RAN 20 MILES!!! I can hardly believe I did it. I actually should say WE did it, for it is by God's grace alone that my body is enduring! I was a bit anxious this morning, but just like when you run a simple 5 or 10 miles, it is one step at a time.
This marathon training has truly changed my life. I have learned so much about myself and have been able to change "on the trail," then change in my life. I have learned it is about forward motion. If you get caught up in performance or refuse to rest when needed, you do not feel as strong. As long as I continue to move forward, I am going to cross the finish line. Forward motion is success. So it is with life. We face interruptions, juggling schedules, illness, etc. We are sometimes forced to slow down. That is okay! We just have to keep in mind forward motion is what matters. I have also learned slowing down keeps you going. In life, I am also learning to slow down, mentally and physically. I am astounded at how my reserve has built.
Probably one of my biggest lessons has been in optimism and being in the moment. When we do our Saturday long runs, we do those on the trail, which stretches from our city all the way to the Bronx. What this means is whatever we travel one way we will have to travel the other way when we turn around. When we first started, I found that rather than enjoying the downhills and "coasting," I was grumbling internally and worrying about the inevitable reversal where I would have to go uphill. How pathetic. I realize I am a little like that in life when it applies to me personally. I worry, worry, worry. It deprives me of enjoying the moment. I disciplined myself to change on the trails, and have noticed it transition into my life.
Even my stress fracture I have fought off has taught me things. The first 20-25 minutes are excruciating, as far as my lower leg goes. Once we traverse what we call "Mount Kilimanjaro," which are 2 hills back to back that are quite steep, the pain begins to diminish. In life, when I feel I am facing an uphill battle that does not feel good at the time. I recall that I am "building heat" and will be in a better place in life once I crest it.
So, if you are not a runner, this may all seem cheesy to you. I am a different person today because of my training, regardless of what my body does on January 9th, I am a success. God has also allowed me to build a beautiful friendship with my running partner. Training long distances with someone is quite intimate. You experience so much alongside another person, you struggle together and succeed together. I am so thankful God gave me Mary Cay to run alongside!

Travel mania continues...

2010-08-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

We had such a meaningful time in South Carolina! I think this is the first time in a few years that we did not go because of the death of someone. It was a crazy packed trip, taking a day and a hlaf to get there and the same to get back. Our kids travel very well - no fighting, fussing, or complaining. We are very lucky. Now if they did not have a tv hooked up right in front of them playing the entire 15 hours of the car ride, it may all be a different story. I love the man/woman who invented portable tv/dvd players. Rick had a few meetings wit some churches who are planning mission trips up here to our church in New York this year. My excitement for that is a whole nother story!!! Then we had small pockets of time to see friends and former church members.
Our first night there had me giddy! My best friend turns 40 on Labor Day, so I had coordinated a surprise party for her. She had no ideas whatsoever. We pulled in form our 2 day journey, and I made a mad dash to get ready and out the door to pick Leigh up. I cannot tell you how blessed I was watching her face and feeling her joy at her friends surprising her. We made a point to spend a great deal of time with Rick's foster family. We had dinner with them almost every night which was a special thing for them and us. Usually, we see them briefly and are around for maybe one dinner. I feel as if time has put distance between me and them a little. The time with them this week seemed to bridge us back. The kids slept horribly, and of course, that means we did, too, but everything else was perfect!!!!
On Saturday, I am taking the kids to Ohio to stay with my brother and sister in law for a few days. Once we get back, we have less than a week before Abbie goes back to school. To say I am nervous for her is putting it mildly. She does not like change, so the adjustment will probably be a little rough. I am so thankful most pf her closer friends from last year are with her again. We went up to her school today to see her new classroom. Unfortunately, the teacher was not up there, but the class was put together and looked fun. Brooks will start the week after Abbie. I have a job interview on Wednesday, but I am not sure I am interested. I am interested in working and having an outlet plus a little extra money, though. We will see what happens. The job is at a one on one women's personal training studio.
Marathon training is trucking along. We ran 10.25 this week. I am sore but felt goods doing it. My training partner has lost 40 pounds so far, and I have lost zero. Yep, the doc is baffled. We changed my thyroid meds and are hoping something will happen. We shall see! Well, off to teach Boot Camp!

Summer Vaca

2010-08-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I have finally uploaded pictures from my vacations! WooHoo!! First are the pics from our Family reunion that was canceled but rescheduled as a family trip. Makes sense, right? (: It was supposed to be a trip for about 50-60 family members, but with the oil spill, everyone backed out. So, my dad decided just our family would go.

Everyone but my brother and his wife were able to make it. The pool had a lazy river running around it and a water slide.

I think I liked the slide more than the kids. It was so good to have the cousins get a chance to play together and to get to see my sisters (and spouses of course) and parents. After everyone left the beach, the Julians headed to New Orleans for a little extra vacation. I think the highlight was Cafe DuMonde!
(Brooks chowing down on beignets)
Once back, we had to focus forward and pack for our move! My sister in law, Leah, came to help me pack up. Before that, I had only met her briefly at the wedding and then spent a little shared time with her one weekend. I was so blessed getting to spend one-on-one time with her. I am so glad we got to become friends! She is a sweet, unselfish, unassuming, fun gal!
Our last week there, we also had an outbreak of mice. Say what?!?!? It all started when Rick left a dirty car seat in the garage. Guess what it attracted? MICE! They found their way into the house. We thought we had one until our mouse trap caught 3 baby mice. We kept setting it and catching more. I was very happy to get out of there.
A week after moving in, I left my husband and kids to fend for themselves while one of my dearest friends and I met up in Toronto.

Both of our flights were canceled on the way, so we ended up getting there separately at 1 am. My luggage would not make it for 2 days. On the bright side, I got to buy a new outfit at Delta's expense. WooHoo! The coolest thing we did was eat at the CN Tower 360. It rotates around, so you can see all across and past Toronto. It was beautiful!!! Leigh ordered some weird food, so it was a fun experience.

This was cool too - world's smallest church. It seats 8 people. Pretty cool, huh?

Now I am back and getting settled in the house. School starts in 4 more weeks, so we are still trying to enjoy summer and milk it for all it's worth.

Checking in...

2010-07-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

So it is 11:30, way past my bedtime, yet I am sitting here typing and watching Big Brother 12. What a whirlwind these past few weeks have been! We are "in" the new house. That is to say, half of our stuff is in the house (pics to come) and half is still in the garage! I am trying to do this in "waves," so as not to have a horrible mess. It worked much better in theory!! No, it seriously has helped it from being too overwhelming. I have to get a lot done, because I leave for Canada next Wednesday! One of my best friends and I take a trip together every other year, and this is our year. I love the layout of the new house, but it is further away from everything. I am shocked at how much gas I go through just doing every day life! Crazy!

One benefit of the stress of moving is the visitors I have had. My sister in law who I have only known since Chris married her in January(was a whirlwind romance like Rick and I had) came up to help me for three days. I loved getting to know her better. She is an amazing girl who has a heart for the Lord, loves and respects my brother, and is such a servant hearted person. I was so sad to see her go....BUT then my mom came the next day. My mom is so fun, and she is a work horse! We have gotten a lot done and have had some good times. She leaves tomorrow morning, and I am soooo sad. I will get to see Leigh, though, a week later, which will make it a little better!!

I have been doing a lot of running lately. I am training for a marathon. I know, crazy, right?!? There are awesome bike/running trails here that go all the way to the Bronx. A friend and I do our long runs on the trail. Until my Garmin navigation watch gets here, we are going by time. Today I did about 90 minutes. Woot! Woot!! I have a half marathon the first weekend in October, so that will be a good gage for how the marathon will go. Training with a friend has made it much more enjoyable, and I find I am actually enjoying it. I look forward to my long runs, even when I am worn out. I may not be singing that tune when I hot 15 and 16 miles(:

Kindergarten is Coming To An End!

2010-06-17T19:54:00.000-07:00

Well, the "Thank you" notes to Abbie's teachers have been written and sealed, the cookies for the teachers to eat on have been baked, and I am crashing. I just know as soon as I go to sleep, I will wake up in the morning with a daughter going to her last day of Kindergarten. I was not near this emotional on her first day of Kindergarten. I cannot fathom why I am more emotional today. She will be in a 5 week summer school session, but it is not the same. Kindergarten has been such a positive experience for her. The teachers and classmates have been wonderful. Abbie has grown so much over the past year. I look at her and just wonder where the time has gone. It really does go so fast! I am just trying to think in the immediate future, which is beach time with the fam! I cannot wait to spend unscheduled time with my kids, hubbie, and the rest of my family. WooHoo! Gulf Shores, here we come!

Content and Happy

2010-06-15T06:40:00.001-07:00

After talking to a girlfriend from college the other night about our blogs, I realized I needed to check in! Can I just mention that despite the stress of moving again (same town, different house) and being waaaaay too busy, I am just plain happy. I am actually a word I have not been in awhile - content. I truly believe we are right where God wants us to be. My daughter Abbie is finishing up her last week of kindergarten here in New York. I am filled with so many emotions. New York has surprised me. People here are so real. They are dedicated, hard working people. Though 90 percent (at least) of those working with Abbie are not Christians, they live, work, and treat others in a way that is humbling to me as a Christian. Ms Chamberlain, Abbie's speech therapist, is the biggest reason I am thrilled with Abbie's schooling. As we talked the other day, and I was telling her how wonderful and amazing she is (as I do almost every time we talk), she told me, "Rachel, you may think I am blessing and changing Abbie's life, but really she is just as equally blessing and changing mine." She went on some more after that, but I was blown away. Abbie, in the heart of liberalism, agnosticism, and atheism, is being used as a light to those around her. Her PT is a member of our church and told me that Abbie just openly talks about God and prayer without a second thought, and the teachers actually listen. People that would normally shut down a conversation and not even listen are allowing this precious 6 year old girl to share the Gospel!!! I am humbled that God brought us up here not just for Rick's job but for Abbie's!!!!! Abbie's delays are being used to advance the Kingdom in ways no one else could. It is thrilling!
The church is growing, too. Up here, things move slowly. We are working against culture. It is not PC to go to church, much less be a Christian. When I tell people Rick is a pastor, you can almost hear a pin drop in the room. It is quite amusing yet sad. I remember back to a year ago, when we were deciding about moving up here permanently, I told Rick I flat out refused to move up here. Now, you can see who wins in our house!! (: Really, God made Himself very clear, and we all won because of it. The church family has been so healing to us, after what we went through at our former church. No one expects anything of me except to love my family. Because of that, I actually am finding myself desiring to do and enjoying ministry! I teach a weekly yoga session at church and teach youth SS girls. Rick and I have been doing counseling for some couples in our church as well. Guess what? I looooooooove church! How refreshing! I know, some are shocked that a pastor's wife would admit to ever feeling another way. Hey, I'm a northerner now, so I am just telling it like it is!!!
Life is too short to aim to please everybody. I am learning to focus upward only and let everything else go. I always laugh when I think that God brought me to liberal land to bring me such freedom. Please join me in praying for the lost souls of NY and for opportunities to reach them!!
Ok, here are some pics from over the past month.
This first one was when Abbie, Mom, and I went into the city together

This is taken in Central Park

I love this picture. It was actually taken at Abbie's Field Day

This was at DD one morning before church. I promised if they cooperated and got out the door early, we could treat ourselves before church. Mom got her coffee, and the kids got their donuts!

Happy Birthday, My Jumpin' Bean!!

2010-05-19T10:15:00.000-07:00

I can hardly believe tomorrow is my sweet firstborn daughter's 6th birthday! I cannot even think about it without getting tears in my eyes. I remember everything, from when they told me they thought I might be miscarrying at 8 weeks to falling on my face pleading God to spare her, to the first ultrasound at 10 weeks (where she bounced around with her bud of an arm almost in a wave). This is where she gets one of her nicknames "Jumpin' Bean" I remember being readmitted into the hospital with her at a few days old because of her jaundice. I was so scared, but God was faithful. Abbie has always loved being held by her Mommy and Daddy. We used to lay her on her tummy on our chest and gently "jiggle" her, and she was a snoozer in minutes. I sang more to that child than anyone would even believe. I think that is why, to this day, she responds so well to music.
Everything about Abbie is gentle and beautiful. She has a prayer life that is well beyond her 6 years of age. She prays for people and then I will get a phone call a day or so later from that person asking for prayer because something happened. She tells her teachers about Jesus and prays for them, and they don't get offended (which is a big big big deal up here outside NYC). She is a walking evangelist and such a comforter to those who are lonely or hurting. People tell me they feel "seen" and at peace around my child. I know I feel this way. She brings the spirit of Christ wherever she goes. I am humbled DAILY by her grace, gentleness, acceptance, and peace. I can not imagine life without my angel.
Abbie, having never been taught or asked, has started cleaning up after dinner. She takes her plate and empties it in the trash and then sets it in the sink. She then takes ours and does the same thing, after which she asks for a towel to wipe the table.
And boy is Abbie fun and funny. She comes up with the funniest remarks and loooooves a reason to shake her bootay! Last weekend we went with my Mom to see Mamma Mia, and I about melted in my seat. She knew the words to the songs and held up her finger as a microphone and sang along with the cast. I am sure the people next to us were not as amused, but my Mom and I had a ball watching her.
People always ask if she is a Daddy's girl. She adores her Daddy and at times, she is, but she is definitely a Momma's girl. I am still shocked God trusted me with her as a child, and I am so thankful for the day she was born! Happy birthday Abs!

Current Events

2010-05-02T12:08:00.000-07:00

As I sit typing on my computer, my house is a wreck, my husband and daughter are snoozing peacefully, and my son is happily playing cars in his room. I stepped over numerous toys and necessary chores to sit down and type! A few minutes ago I was cuddled next to my daughter, when suddenly I was awakened by horrendous heartburn. I am talking about keeled over, please save me God, sharp pain heartburn! I thought I would do something that required sitting up since lying down was too painful. Thus, I am blogging! Nothing earth shattering has gone on, just the normal hum drum of life. I have dealt with a lot of worry over where Abbie will be next year, as far as placement goes. She will movie up to first grade, but it is undecided which school she will attend. For various reasons, I am certain she should stay where she is. I scheduled an appointment with her speech pathologist last Friday. After meeting with her, I am even more certain Abbie should stay at her current school. This lady, though not a believer, loves my daughter more than any other educator she has had in the schools. She is devoted to Abbie, values Abbie, gets Abbie, and advocates for Abbie. I am blown away that someone who is not motivated by Jesus gives so much of her skill, time, and energy out of love for another. How humbling it is to me to take time to minister to others wholeheartedly, to give my first fruits instead of waiting to see what time/energy I have left over to serve.
Brooks is blowing me away. He is so verbal and expressive. He had his first swim lesson on Friday. Now, before I tell you how it turned out, let me tell you how he is normally around water. He loves loves loves it. Last summer, I had to watch him nonstop around the pool. He would run and just jump in the water - no fear. He loves it. However, (I am sure you know what is coming) on Friday, gone was that fearless child. He got in the water and grabbed onto the side with a death grip. He was doing as asked until Daddy appeared on the pool deck. Immediately, the screams erupted. After a few minutes, Daddy made an exit. Then it became, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Help me! I scared! Mommy..." over and over and over again for the entire class. I left the deck and hid in the dressing from for the last 15 minutes but the crying continued anyway. We are hoping things are different this week.
This coming week is mucho mucho busy. I have a packed schedule in the day and at night most of the nights. I am preaching this coming Sunday and am a little, no, a lot, anxious about it. I am trying to figure out when I will have time to write and memorize it. Because Rick lost his brother and mother this past year, I know the day will be difficult for him. This is one way I feel I can lighten the burden of his heart.

Celebrating Brooks's 3rd!

2010-04-24T14:30:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend! It was all about Brooks. On Friday night we celebrated his birthday as a family. After cooking cheeseburger dip all day, he decides he does not want that and wants McDonalds. Obviously, on their birthday, they get whatever they want. I have a "You are Special" plate that the birthday boy/girl eats on, so he still did that!

After eating cake, Brooks opened his presents. Needless to say, he hit the jackpot.

I am shocked we ever got him to fall asleep, but once he did, I went to work preparing for his birthday party on Saturday. After all invites were sent out, Brooks informed Rick and me he wanted to have it at the church. Guess what? What birthday boy wants, he gets! I was a little worried this morning after getting a call that a child that was supposed to come was sick. Two more were already sick. Luckily, everyone else showed up. Since everyone was starving, lunch came first!

Once we filled our bellies, it was craft time. I had a beach bucket for each kid and tons of stuff to decorate them with like stickers, markers, etc. They seemed to enjoy it. After making their buckets, we went outside to play a few rounds with a pinata and fill our buckets with candy!

After that, more cake! My son has suddenly decided he has an aversion to silverware, so he again ate cake with his fingers.

Everyone knows what follows cake....PRESENTS!!! Brooks again hit the JACKPOT!

The party ended with free play on the playground. Abbie was the only one who came out not covered in dirt.

And since these two love to hug each other, they had to get a goodbye hug!

I had to include a picture of 2 of my favorite people in New York! It is hard to be so far away from family, but these two ladies filled in and helped me feel relaxed and on top of things!

Now is the crash from it all. After everyone got naps, Brooks is now playing with all of his toys.

Happy Birthday, My Little Man!

2010-04-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

My baby is three today!! I cannot believe it!! Where has the time gone? As I was telling him his "birth story" last night, I was overcome with emotion and feeling like it was just yesterday. I remember how he was in utero. He would kick at precisely the same time every day for close to the same length of time. He was so routine and predictable. Then the delivery - what an easy, amazing experience. I went in to a scheduled induction the day before his due date. They gave me the drip, checked me, told me I was 3, that they would wait a few hours to check me again, knowing the process with Abbie was very slow. I did not want an early epidural with Brooks, because I wanted to "feel" the experience. Very soon after, I called the nurse in, telling her I think I had progressed a lot. She assured me that it was too quick but she would check anyway. Needless to say, I was a 7. We got that epidural in quickly! Not even 10 minutes later, she came back in to check me, but her check was visual - there was my buddy's head! My doc was in surgery, so she said I would have to just "hold tight". Yeah right! (: The doc hustled in and sat down. He said, just stay like you are. This baby is just coming out by himself. Doctor Moore put his hand on my belly and Brooks entered the world! Whew! I should have known his personality already - he likes predictable and routine. He is intense. He is an "I can do it all by myself" kind of guy! And he is so much more. Every day he makes me laugh; every day he makes my heart warm; every day he challenges me; every day he inspires me. He is so verbal. He has an opinion about everything and likes to feel like he is in complete control at all times. He is so smart and perceptive! He has an opinion about what he should wear and is obsessed with shoes. I could not imagine life without him. Thank you God for entrusting this sweet soul to me! Happy 3rd birthday, sweet boy Brooks!

Time Movin'

2010-04-02T06:42:00.001-07:00

I want another baby! I admit, the timing is off, but the time is tickin' too! I am praying about God's will and His timing, because it does not make sense.
Ok, on to another note, we had so much fun in the city last week. Christine and Emma came in to town, and we hit the city. Abbie was not feeling great, but she did not complain a bit! We hot my favorite restaurant, Tony's, watched Alice in 3D for $20 a ticket(I was shocked it was that it was that much more), went to M&M and Hershey stores, and walked around Times Square. The next morning we went to a play in Greenwich Village, which was so fun! I have not been to Greenwich Village much, but I have decided I want to hit it more in the future trips. The musical was Alice in Wonderland. The girls loved it! Afterwards, Abbie insisted on telling Cinderella that she had her at home as a Barbie doll. The cast got a kick out of that.
I am so thankful for the friends I have here. After our experience in Texas, I am not quick or excited to make true friends in the church where Rick pastors. Due to the fact that there are hardly any Christians up here, it is not really an option to do otherwise! (: I am grateful for the friends who have made room in their lives for "one more."
Speaking of Austin, I can hardly believe it was a year ago that Rick sent in his resignation letter. I have mixed emotions. First, I am shocked at how much healing God has done in my heart through my experience here in NY. Second, I am so lucky to have the family I do. I remember throwing Brooks a birthday party at my Mom's house, and all my relatives came over. There is nothing like family to drown out ugliness. Brooks's birthday is coming up again, so it brings back memories of where I was and see God's hand in everything. I will not say I am "free" from the experience, but I am getting there. For the first time, I experienced God using the experience to enable me to minister to someone that I probably could not have otherwise. That felt good, really good!

A Big Look

2010-03-18T07:42:00.001-07:00

Has it really been 3 months since my last post?!?!?! I have no idea how to cover the events of three months in one post. I guess what sums it up is God has been so good in the stepping stones He has given me to heal from the experience in Austin. I would be lying to say I have truly forgiven those few people, but I must say it doe snot define my life. Living in New York has been a blast, though it has not been without its challenges. Rick lost his brother and mother in a 6 month period, was in a car wreck, and had surgery. That being said, it is apparent that the spiritual warfare here is strong. That is because God is doing some great works here! We are seeing so many lives changed. Down south, going to church is the social norm. Living a Christian life is not necessarily the norm, but being a church attender is. Up here, you go against the norm if you are a follower of Christ. The challenges Christians face up here blow me away. Since we have been here, the church attendance has tripled, so that is very exciting to us as well as the church. Rick's friend, Mckelvie, has been leading worship, and that has been such a blessing! If anyone reading this is looking for potential mission trips for your youth or adults at your church, the fields up here are ripe for harvest, though the laborers are few. We have opportunities!
Witnessing is very different up here. There is such an aversion to Christianity and church up here, that the relationship foundation must be set very securely before the Gospel is presented. I work one night a week. I hate going out at night away from my family, but God has put the 2 ladies I train on my heart, and I know I am training them for more than earning a paycheck. God has partnered me with them for such a time as this. I pray regularly for opportunity and conversation, and He has been faithful.

I have loved exploring NYC so much. I hope to post pictures soon of places and stars I have encountered in NYC. It is a fascinating place that never grows old. I just discovered Shake Shack, an outdoor eatery right in Madison Square Garden. You stand in a long line to place your order at Window #1, wait to pick up your order at Window #2 and then find a tiny table to sit at and eat. I was soooo good. One of my best friends from college came up to the city, and she suggested we try it. I was shocked. Another fave is Grand Central. Most people think of the part of GS that is seen in movies - the huge lobby. Though that is beautiful, the bottom floor is my favorite. There are tons of walk up restaurants (like at the mall) and sit down places. Juniors has the BEST bakery of anywhere in NY. Times Square continues to fascinate me, especially at night. I feel like a child when I am there, so in awe of all the lights! When my little sis was here, my friend who works at FOX News took us on a tour. We sat in O'Reilly's chair and met Shep Smith(who had on more make up than Tammy Faye Baker). My favorite restaurant BY FAR in the city is Tony Dinapoli's. It is an Italian family style restaurant, and it is to DIE FOR! We live 40 miles north of the city, so the train system to get into the city is so convenient! We drive a couple miles to the train station (which happens to be right across the street from the church), hop on the train, and arrive at Grand Central an hour and twenty minutes later.
One of my best friends from SC is coming up next weekend with her daughter, and the gals are hitting the city. Abbie is thrilled about the girl's trip!Hopefully I will get a chance to blog this one, too!

Ok, Mamaw!

2009-12-15T06:40:00.001-08:00

As I was talking to Mamaw, my grandmother, last night, I promised her I would not quit journaling. Since I lose any journals I actually write in, this has been my attempt at journaling. I have gotten so bad at taking the time to do it, so it is my goal to do it at least twice a week. In 20 years, I will be so glad I did it! To just track what life has been like for me, I am happy...genuinely, truly happy. My kids make me smile more than ever before. They play together so well. Brooks is my alpha, is bossy and wound tight, but he is SOOOOO MUCH FUN!! Everyone wants to be around him. Abbie is my gentle soul. She is compassionate, perceptive, and very calming. Though she does not have to be in charge and lets Brooks make a lot of the decisions, when she does not want to do something, she just doesn't. No fighting, kicking, screaming, just does not do it. They are a great match. She has taught Brooks how to exhibit compassion, and Brooks has taught her boldness.

As far as school goes, she is right where she needs to be. In the south, she received 60 minutes total of combined therapies- 2- 20 min speech sessions and 1- 20 min. Here in NY, she receives 300 minutes. YES!!! That is right - 300 minutes!!! 4-30 min private speech and 1-30 minute group speech, 3- 30 minute OT, and 2- 30 min PT. Unbelievable!! Her speech therapist is amazing. Abbie is developing and catching up. She still has a long way to go, but she is getting there. The speech therapist thinks Abbie's auditory processing disorder and ADD is foundational in her delay. She is relaying foundations that were laid incorrectly. Abbie's fine motor control and gross motor skills are improving as well. She can write an A on her own with no instruction, and it looks flawless!! Those of you with "typical" kids have no idea why that is huge, but it is!!! Her ADD meds have had a great impact on her performance. I am starting the process of looking for a neurologist up here. Please pray for success in finding one who is compassionate, patient, a good listener, and very learned!
Brooks loves to learn. He does Abbie's homework right with her. His obsession is cars, cars, cars, and trains! He is very into Barney. We are starting potty training after Christmas. He uses the potty on his own a lot, but he has never been required to, if that makes sense. Strong-willed does not even do his will justice. He has more of an iron clad will, so it should be interesting.
We have a terrific babysitter up here. Well, we have a couple, but I have one girl who watches them more than other. The kids ask if we can go out, so she can babysit. She adores my kids, so it makes us happy!
We were stuck on the side of the road on Sunday when thick sheets of ice covered the roads. Some people were stuck for three and four hours, so we were blessed with just one hour of delay. It was quite frightening. One woman was killed on the road where we were stuck. New Yorkers have said it was the worst experience they have ever had of ice/snow. I was somewhat relieved, because it means it probably won't happen again. I am making Emergency kits for our cars this week, in case something does happen again.

Moving through Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T18:43:00.000-08:00

Well the Ledfords and Thanksgiving have both come and gone. Abbie got sick on Tuesday, so I was very anxious about our Thanksgiving plans. Our friends got in town at about midnight Wednesday night/Thursday morning. We crashed and then woke up early on Thanksgiving Day. Like the wonderful mother I was, I pumped Motrin into Abbie to bring her fever down and hit the city with our family and the Ledfords. For those that "dream" of coming to the parade in NYC, you see much better on tv. Despite the crowd and lack of view, our kids seemed to really enjoy it and be "along for the ride." We hit FAO Schwartz after watching the parade for about an hour or two. We had lunch, did a lot of walking, and then headed home while the Ledfords stayed a little longer. I am amazed at how well Abbie did and does every time in the city. She never tires out, even with 101 degree fever. She has been begging me to take her to Mamma Mia, so I may make a day out of that after Christmas.
Friday was when we were going to celebrate Thanksgiving.It was play day for Rick and Larry, while Leigh and I cooked...for SIX HOURS!!! To those out there who love cooking, this may sound fun, but to my "I would rather be socializing" self, this was not my idea of a perfect day. After dinner and dessert, Leigh and I hit Starbucks and stayed til midnight. That is my idea of a good time(:
Abbie is still sick...poor girl. We decorated the tree and house for Christmas, but I will talk about that in my next post after I download the pics.

Fall Fun in the City

2009-11-21T17:22:00.000-08:00

Busy and fun times here in New York! We have been keeping very busy here. For Halloween, we had some friends form church over. Thanks to the help of two of my new friends, the party went very well. We decorated cookies, played games, and bobbed for donuts(more sanitary and softer than apples).

This pic is of one of our babysitters. She is AMAZING!!! The kids adore her!

We also had a great time watching Abbie perform at school. They did the Monster Mash! Then we had a little party in the classroom.

I had a friend come visit me a couple of weeks ago. Actually, she is one of my oldest and dearest friends who I have not seen in over 2 years. I would post pics of us, but I have promised to not post anything without her approval. Only for Jen! We went to see South Pacific, went shopping and got makeovers at Bergdorff Goodman (sp?), went to Madame Tussaud's and had fun with the wax figures!!

The next weekend was back to the city for The Rockettes! Since we live so close to NYC, we just hopped on the train that dropped us off at Grand Central Station. Brooks loved the train, and Abbie loved the Rockettes!

Afterwards, we went to Mars 2112, which is an outer space themed restaurant. When you get there, they give you a ticket, and you get in an elevator and go on a rocket ship ride up to "outer space." When you step off the ride, you are in a fully decorated restaurant that looks like outer space. There were a lot of parties going on, and balloons were everywhere. Brooks was not so happy that he did not get one. Fortunately, we had an amazing waiter who brought my kids balloons!

The boys were exhausted on the way home, but the girls were full of sunshine!

This next week will be exciting. Another one of my best friends is coming in with her family on Wednesday at 11 pm and is spending Thanksgiving with us!! I can hardly wait! We are taking the kids to the Macy's Day Parade on Thursday and are going to do the whole Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. I don't care what we do, as long as it includes the Ledfords.

Dress up, Clean Up, Plan Up, and Heal Up!

2009-10-27T19:40:00.000-07:00

OH HAPPY DAYYYYYYYS!!! That would be the theme of my life! I cannot tell you how freeing and amazing it has been to live up here. Despite the liberalism and major life adjustments, there is a sense of peace that has been developing within my soul. So many times as a pastor's wife, I feel undue pressure on me as to where to go, what to do, what to say, who to be....and so on. After a really bad nightmare of an experience, I did not think I would ever enjoy ministry. This church has been so refreshing. There are NO NO NO expectations of me except to love my family. Every church says that, but this church actually meant it. Funny thing is, I find myself wanting to do more than I have before.You see, when I feel pressured or forced to do something, I withdraw, shut down, check out, etc. Because there is none of that here, I am just me. I am getting to find my "ministry me" again. It is fun, fulfilling, satisfying, blessed! I am teaching yoga twice a week at the church, have participated in the choir/worship team, have lunch with people in the church from my own choice, and I get to actually make friends. I do not have to dance around to show the major tithers that they matter more. I never ever ever would have thought that I would find freedom in ministry up north. So much is taken for granted in our southern mindset and faith. Things are different here. Now don't get me wrong, I need your prayers, because satan is very very active up here. I just feel freer than I have in a long time!

Abbie still does not like school, but she is adjusting. The special ed staff is very very on top of things here. We have our ARD in a couples of weeks, but for once I do not feel like I am fighting to have them hear my concerns - they see them! Her school has so many functions and activities. The other night, we had a Harvest Festival. We were the only ones dressed up. I did not even notice that until my sweet husband pointed out how dorky we looked. I am sorry, I figured if there was a pumpkin carving contest, Halloween games, snacks, and crafts, then it would include costumes! Anyhow, here are some pics from that night.
Abbie was a cheetah!

Brooks was a fireman

This last picture is from a themed diner we ate at before the party. They served the kids in little make-shift cars. Brooks was so excited!

This past Sunday, I was able to be on the worship team. I have not done that since high school. It was an awesome weekend. The Spirit really was moving. I teach in the morning for the first time at the YMCA in the morning. There is no microphone in the room I will be in, so I am a bit anxious. My accent and their disdain for step also puts some butterflies in the tummy. Other than that, I am excited! This is a very busy week - from work to a fundraiser ball, to having the church Pumpkin party at our house. Mix that with a broken washing machine, still unpacking, and some other commitments, and I am definitely going on no-stop adrenaline! Next week, one of my best friends in the whole wide world, comes to see me! COUNT DOWNNNNNNN!!!!!

Oh, I almost forgot, here is a picture of our church sanctuary. The church is made up of multiple buildings, with the sanctuary being on its own. It is beautiful!

a dash

2009-10-25T17:27:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to let you know we just bought a new computer, so I am back! We have houseguests this weekend, so that is about all I have time to write. I just wanted to let everyone know I am back. I look forward to catching up on everyone's blogs!

The start of Kim's wedding week!

2009-10-14T17:54:00.000-07:00

I enjoy coming to my hometown, Germantown, especially when I have the time and freedom to see close friends. Brooks and I arrived on Tuesday night. It was actually the afternoon, but after my luggage did not arrive, we were delayed an hour and a half trying to sort things out. Someone mistook my suitcase for his/hers, and they left with all of our clothes for the wedding. Yikes! As I stressed and prayed, I was given a $50 limit from Delta to go shopping. They said if I spent it before they brought my luggage, they would still reimburse my receipts. I headed to one of my faves - Target! They did, in fact, find my suitcase this afternoon, and I got my clothes and my $50 worth of purchases. Thank you Jesus! I am sensing God is trying to teach me to chill out. I stress so much with the unknown or unresolved, and most times for no reason. I trust in God fully, but trusting is harder than trusting IN.
I had dinner at my favorite sushi place tonight. Before you barf, I only eat cooked sushi. I so do not find raw fish remotely appealing. I had the MiMi roll....YUMMY!!! One of my best friends met me there for some food and fun. Tomorrow will be time with grandparents, hopefully with one of my bffs, Nora, and then to pick up Rick and Abs from airport. I am teaching 2 classes in the morning, back-to-back. I hope I can walk on Friday. I do have a fun yet classy little black dress to wear.
Friday morning is a bridesmaids' brunch, mani/pedi bonding, rehearsal and dinner, and then Kimmie gets married on Saturday!
Now off the get my boy dressed for bed and then sack out myself. 'Night!

An Update

2009-10-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

Hello blog world! it has been awhile. Our computer breathed its last breath about a week and a half ago, and blogging is not so easy on my cel phone. I am borrowing a friend's computer so I can get my fix. Let's see. I am not even remembering my last posts, so forgive me if I repeat. I GOT A JOB! My first interview was at a movie star/politician place. I had no clue how uppity it would be at the time. I had just seen they had a lot of fitness classes. I like people that like others as much as themselves. I am not a "stare at yourself in the mirror" and "think wonderful thoughts about you and only you" kind of gal. I, of course, expressed my disinterest in a very PC way, but the result was NO WAY! After being so turned off, I had my next interview at the Y. Ah, the Y. YMCAs are never known for their awesome facilities or super great pay. They are known, however, for their down-to-earth members and more family friendly feel. Since I feel like I am in another country much of the time up here, I opted for a place that was a little more like home. I was offered a job on the spot and took it! I am going to be training at both YMCAs in Connecticut (only about 15 miles from house), and I will be subbing as well. The coordinator was sweet and genuine, which is worth more than major bucks. The yoga classes pay $50/hr, so I do hope I will be called to sub a couple of those! (: I am also starting a power yoga class at church twice a week. That will give me an outlet as well.
Abbie does not like school AT ALL. She finds being told what to do very frustrating. She also does not see the fun in drawing lines and writing letters. Music and lunchtime are her faves. So far, the teachers seem to be pretty discerning and observant. The north is quite different from the south, and I do not see a lot of hugging and affection from the teachers, but they are good people all the same.
I am teaching high school Sunday School, which is a change for me. I always try to find the greatest need and plug in, which here is youth group. There is so much worldliness up here that their view of holiness and sin is quite different. That is an adjustment to me, to not be on the same page with what is right or wrong. Even when teens do not follow their views, most Christians in the south agree on what is right and wrong.
The other night,I was served water, or so I thought, took a big gulp, and almost spewed. Someone had brought me alcohol. Now to those who drink an occasional glass, not offense. It is just I have had one accidental taste in my ENTIRE LIFE! The taste is none to appealing to me. It was dark outside, and I was really thirsty, so it was no tiny sip. I gulped and then was quite shocked. I said, "Excuse me, this is not water...I think you gave me beer." She apologized and ran inside to figure out what happened. It was an accident, and I am over it, but my antennas will be up. Abbie drinks whatever she sees in hand's reach. She would have no clue and chug away. She will now be on an invisible leash!
Despite the trials up here, I know this is where we are to be.The people in our church are really sweet and accepting. They love on my children. All the teenager girls adore Brooks, and he eats it up! They are very very different from our former nightmare of a church, so I find myself softening and healing even more. I am still homesick for my close friends. Moving so much has been hard, and I do long for the familiarity of my best friends.
I leave on Tuesday to go to Germantown for Kim's wedding. My sis gets married Saturday, and my brother the beginning of January, and then we are all married! I have never met my brother's future wife, so I am very excited about meeting her this coming weekend.
Hopefully we will have a new computer soon, and I can be more "in touch" with the blogworld!

Crack me up!

2009-10-02T12:24:00.000-07:00

Just a quick funny story. Rick visited the elderly in a nursing home last Sunday. When he went into one room, the lady (who happened to be 104) asked him if he were married. After he said "YES," she proceeded to tell him that she liked him and would have to kill his wife (that would be me). He told her he liked me and wanted me alive. Her response, "No. I am gonna have to kill her." CRACK ME UP!!! Rick laughs when he tells me this and says, "I guess the moral of the story is that women in their 100s still have needs. CRACK ME UP ...again!

Ramblings

2009-09-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

Hello blog world! I don't have anything earth shattering to share, just some "snapshots" of the past few days. I have been so busy there are not pictures. We have unpacked 75% of our stuff, though much of it is laying around while I decide where everything should go. Our playroom should be labeled a "Disaster Zone." This is great for the kids, however, because they can see all their toys rather than plowing through the tubs.
Abbie is learning how to write letters. Last week was T, B, and F. She does great at Ts, decent at B's, and so won't even focus on the F's. She thinks school work is quite annoying. I was always and still am an overachiever, so this concept is foreign to me. Speaking of overachiever, I am going to be home schooling Brooks starting as soon as the curriculum arrives in the mail. Just like his mommy, he is a perfectionist, overachiever, and pitches a fit when things are not just as he expects and requests. It is hilarious. I am quite fascinated watching their two personalities play out, seeing clearly the strengths and weaknesses. Abbie is so steady and is not too concerned with what others think about her.
Today we went to Red Rooster. It is a hole-in-the-wall burger and ice cream joint that has rides and putt putt in the back. We had a great lunch with Daddy today. Supposedly movie stars eat here, but we spotted none. The ice cream cones were as tall as my foot. Seriously, they were about a foot long, dipped in chocolate and covered with sprinkles.
I have 2 potential places to work. One is a Y and is personal training and subbing aerobics. The other is aerobics and maybe other opportunities. It is some fancy state-of-the-art, all purpose place that has movie stars as members. That is somewhat intimidating to me. Movie stars = divas, right? The coordinator seems really nice, though. I will visit both this week and meet with the coordinators. We bought a treadmill and have weights, so I am ok taking my time in finding a spot. Well, that is about it. Off to take my Melatonin and snooze. FYI-if you have trouble falling asleep, it is a natural supplement that knocks you out without the "hangover" the next morning.

Kim's weekend

2009-09-26T18:37:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I was in Germantown (my hometown) for my sister's showers. She planned all her showers in one weekend to make it easier for out of towners. The first one was Friday night. It was a shrimp broil hosted by Andrew's friends. The whole thing was cool. They had tents set up outside and had the whole ambiance going on. My dad stood up to say something and these were his words,"Marriage is about give and take. Your mother has been giving it for 40 years, and I have been taking it." He so did not mean it in a sensual way,, but everyone under forty took it that way. He had no idea until we explained what we thought it meant. SO FUNNY!!!
This is a pic of Kim and Nora, one of our dearest friends.

The next morning was a brunch hosted by some of my mom' friends. Looking at the pic, you will realize my mom has lots of friends. I was shocked at the number hosting it. It was very classy and elegant.

This is a pic of my cousins and me. The coffee punch they served was TO DIE FOR, so I hung out close to that.

Here I am with my Nora!

Saturday night was the lingerie shower and bachelorette party. We started out at a sushi restaurant. We got to sit on pillows around a huge table. We were on a platform behind sliding doors. I felt very cool, I must admit. Some people were eating raw, stinky fish, but I stuck with the cooked stuff!
My pics will be kept to a minimum here for this one, not that there was anything questionable!
This was taken of my cousin Sara and I. We were drinking the nonalcoholic Mojitoes(or however you spell it).
(By the way, I do not know why this text is underlined. I can't fix it. It is driving my OCD crazy

And here are the hostesses for this one! We got some cute scarves for our hostess gift and decided to wear them for the pic.

Now the countdown has begun for Kimmie's wedding! It will be three weeks from today. YAY!!!

Down the tubes.

2009-09-25T06:50:00.000-07:00

OH MY LIBERAL GOSH! On the news last night I listened as a group of kindergartners singing odes and other sappy songs about Barrack Obama. This same school has barred the pledge of allegiance because it includes GOD in it. However, one song they sang about Obama was set to the tune JESUS LOVES ME. Are you absolutely kidding me?! Our country seems to be going down the liberal tubes. I ask myself why the Christians are so silent. Why do we let them say we are judgemental and closed-minded and shut up because of these accusation?! We avoid "liberal" occupations because of the fact that they are too liberal, but now look at our country. I wish I had done law school some days, because I could sit myself in a government seat and try to make a difference there. We have got to be on our knees pleading for God's conviction and mercy on our great country that is becoming more and more unrecognizable. If we leave God out of our school and community, we are the ones who are doomed.
Oh and thankfully Abbie is learning the pledge of allegiance at her school, right here in the heart of NY. I am so glad we are not in NJ or CT. They are so much more liberal.

Hello NY!

2009-09-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

We are here in the great state of New York. Ok, maybe there is a little sarcasm, but I really am trying to be focused on the positive. As I type this, I am sitting on my bed, surrounded by boxes on all sides. Tomorrow will entail unpacking some, organizing some, and resting some. Abbie started school on Wednesday.

She looked so cute and was excited! I, on the other hand, tossed and turned all night and cried all day. She says she enjoys school. I got a note from Friday that asked me about her nose picking habit. I about died! They want to retest her because her last F.I.E. was done for preschool. I am anxious, but I have been told by many how wonderful the programming is here. I started a book called "The Power of a Praying Wife," and I am trying to just hand her to God without my recommendations. This is so hard!

I wanted to include some pics from our trek from Memphis. Brooks ran out of paper and used his body to color. He also got a hold of the lollipop bag and figured if one tasted great, three at a time was better!

Abbie catching flies!

Once we hit the hotel, Abbie played "kitchen" with the ice bucket and coffee pot, while the boys caught their own flies!

Party Night

2009-09-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Dottie called me a few days ago and asked if she could throw us a going away bash. I never pass up a chance to see me sweet and fun family, so I agreed. Because Rick does not get here until Tuesday night and we will have only 24 hours to pack things up, we set it for tonight minus him. Though we missed him, we had a terrific time. Here are a few snapshots.

This first one is my Daddy and me. Isn't he so handsome?!

This is my Aunt Dottie with my kids. Abbie adores Dottie.

A party would not be complete for the Julian kids without some dancing to Mamma Mia soundtrack!

And my little dog lover with my uncle and their sweet dog. The dog was scared of Brooks. Brooks thought it was funny that if he growled like a monster and chased the dog, it would run from him with its tail tucked. So sad!

This last video is of the dancing couples. I have the coolest aunts!

Day-to-Day

2009-09-05T18:07:00.000-07:00

Just the other day my grandmother was encouraging me to journal. I told her I did on a blog. I realized, though, that I do not include day-t-day things, just the bigger things. I thought I would fulfill my promise and get back to the day-to-day I had promised.
Abbie: Her body is becoming more coordinated and agile. I am so proud of her in the changes I see. Just tonight we went to the park with my dad. I watched her climb a rounded runged ladder and slide down two very tall slides. For most of you, this is no big deal, but for Abs, it is a HUGE deal. She is becoming more aware proprioreceptively and more confident in her movements because of this. Her sense of humor is great, and she hears absolutely everything. She may be carrying on a conversation with Brooks, playing with a doll, and watching tv, but she still hears and remembers something someone across the room is saying. She also has become ticklish as of late, which is hilarious! She and I have begun to butt heads a lot more, and that makes me sad. On a happy note, she lets me paint her nails. GIRL TIME!!
Brooks: His obsession is lollipops. He would eat them 24-7 is allowed. He asks me for them around the clock, hoping I will eventually say YES. When I do, he pats the floor and says, "Put it right here, Mommy. Put it right here." He likes to pick it up and open it himself. I have busted him dragging a toy tub into the kitchen so he could reach the lollipops. He walked in the room with three unfolded lollipops gathered together, licking them excitedly. He also is talking a mile a minute. He is the most ticklish human being, loves to laugh and be active. Brooks has become very into his Daddy, which is sweet to watch, but I must say I miss being the center of his universe. Still, I know it is so healthy and that Rick loves it! Brooks has also begun talking a lot about the potty and warns before he poops, or at least right when he starts. As soon as get to New York and get settled, potty training will begin. Hey, I know the perfect bribe, I mean, reward(:"perfect" for him. What they need is what he was created to give and be. It is exciting to watch. I truly believe revival is coming to New York, and I am thrilled to think we might be a part of it. The fields are so ripe for harvest. The laborers are few, but God did say the faith if a mustard seed can move mountains.
Rick: He is in New York right now. He drove the car up and arrived this evening. I truly believe New York is the closest pastorate to being
I think I am learning to be more content. I have begun to realize that I spent about 30 years with a spiritual report card on myself. I did the DOs and refrained from all the DON'T DO's. I would not say everything I have been through has made me any godlier, but it has led me to burn my mental spiritual report cards. Contentment is a hard thing to learn, but I am getting there. My amazing husband is so patient with me and is, for the most part, a better person. I do not mean he has any more value, just that being a patient, kind, selfless person is more natural. It takes more work for me, but it is finally taking root. Praise the Lord!

OH MY WOW!!!

2009-09-03T10:27:00.000-07:00

It is official, we are full-on trusting God and moving up to New York. Rick leaves tomorrow with the mini van stocked full. He drives for 19 hours. Preaches Sunday, flies home Monday. We leave Wednesday in the Tahoe wit a trailer on the back, get to New York Thursday night or Friday morning, sign the lease, take Abbie's paperwork to her new school. We actually movie in on the 13th, our furniture arrives the 13th,14th,15th, or 16th. Abbie starts school the 16th. I get on a plane and fly home for my sister's three showers on that Thursday, come home Sunday night, Rick leaves that Friday, and I preach for him on Sunday. I AM OUT OF BREATH!!! I cannot believe how fast it all has to move! I get to catch my breath before flying back two and a half weeks later for my sister's wedding.. Two weeks after that one of my closest friends in the world comes to see me for 5 days. Two weeks after that, another close friend and her fam are flying up to spend Thanksgiving with us. Four weeks after that, Christmas! OH MY WOW!!! I so need more than 24 hours in a day. LOTS of coffee and prayer for me! It all starts in 5 days!
I have mixed emotions, of course. I was all negative and worried for awhile, but my sweet grandmother spoke the most amazing words to me that turned it all around. I realize that life is our choice. What I mean is, life happens. We can choose to worry, stress, procrastinate the inevitable, focus on the bad...OR we can look for the good. What we decide not only impacts our lives but the lives of those we love most. I choose joy, excitement, happiness, and adventure. God's hand has been apparent in all of this. We got a house for well below what we should have paid. Insurance is not going to be $3000/month. It will be $1200. The people at our church are so loving and accepting. The church is multiplying at an amazing rate. I am blessed, and I CHOOSE to smile!

Get To Know Your Friends

2009-09-03T06:23:00.000-07:00

A friend put this on her blog and suggested we do this on ours too. It is a get to know you. I would love for those reading this to d it as well, so I can learn more about yall. Let me know if you do, so I can get on and read yours. I added on question. Thanks, Rose, for the idea!

1. Do you cook every night?
Almost. It may be from a bag, but that is still cooking to me (:

2. What kind of laundry detergent do you use & why?
GAIN, Original scent. It smells so so so good!

3. Do you do laundry every day or loads at a time?
Loads at a time. I wish I were disciplined for every day

4. How often do you eat out per week?
On average we eat out zero to one evening a week, and lunches are up in the air.

5. Where do you usually eat out?
Swanky's,Chilis, fun and clean little hole-in-the-walls, Outback, Mexican anything

6. What is your favorite retail store?
I have several, Target, Steinmart are the tops!

7. What's your favorite thing to drink?
Diet Dr Pepper, Diet Pepsi with a splash of Pepsi on top, grape flavored water.

8. Do you take vitamins? What kind?
nope

9. What percentage of the household chores to you do?
I do most of the household chores, I would say 80% on average.

10. Do your children do chores? {Or will they, did they, etc}
They will do chores, but nothing set yet. They have to clean up toys or wipe up spills. Brooks loves to help, especially with the vacuuming. Abbie lets me know it is highly inconvenient.

11. Do you go to church?
We do, Rick is a pastor in New York.

12. Do you have a housework schedule?
No but I am starting one in New York

13. Do you keep a working budget?
No. I am horrible at it. I have a rough idea in my head and pretty much stick to it.

14. What do you do at night as a family?
Dinner, swim in the summer, sometimes walks, get ready for bed, cuddle in bed and either read or watch tv.

15. How do you prepare yourself for a new week?
Pray, wake up

16. What do your mornings look like?
Wake up with kids, feed them, head to the gym, then it is lunch time.

17. What time do you get up in the mornings?
7-8
I want to get up earlier but cannot seem to get to bed before midnight.

18. What time do you go to bed at night?
Usually between 12-1

19. How do you manage all of the paperwork that floods into your household? {bills, school work, magazines, ads, etc}
Bills, go in bills drawer. Magazines get read and thrown out. Ads are thrown out almost immediately.

20. How do you keep your household organized? {calendars, charts, etc}
II must confess, I am so unorganized. Like I mentioned, I am turning over a new leaf in NY. I keep baskets in every room to hold things. My mom taught me that.

21. How often do you have date night, what do you do, and who watches the kids?
We used to have them once per week. With Rick traveling it is twice per month. We usually go to dinner and a movie or coffee at a bookstore. We get a babysitter or take them to PlayCare.

That was fun! If you do this, please let me know so I can read! I can't wait to read about my friends!

NY

2009-08-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

I finally got my camera fixed! Yay! I have so many pictures, but to not overwhelm, I want to share about Rick and my trip to NYC. Most everyone knows Rick works at a church outside the city. For his birthday weekend, I flew up to NY for five days. This was a week after his brother died, so I felt like God's timing was in ti all, even though ti was planned months before. My sweet mother took the kids for me, so it was only us. We had a blast. We started the time in Brewster, going into the city on Saturday (his birthday) and then actually stayed in the city on Monday and Tuesday.

This is us eating in a cafe in the city. Gotta love those black-and-white cookies! We bought four, ate one, but pocketed the rest for later.

This was in the middle of Times Square. There are doing a lot of zoning to make it more "usable" by tourists.

This is what you thing, a man playing guitar in his underwear. Believe it or not, the naked cowboy is running for mayor

If you have lived in the US for even a year, you should know this one.

This is us waiting to go through the medal detector to get on a boat for Ellis Island.

Water walking

2009-08-20T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hello. My name is Rachel, and I am a fearaholic. Yep, that is me. Unfortunately there is no 12-step program. There is only a 3 stepper. STOP worrying. TRUST God. FOLLOW faithfully. I feel like I have a hand on 2, but number one is much too hard. Most of you know, you cannot skip the first step and ever truly recover. Am I making any sense? Most people give Peter a hard time for sinking when he was walking on the water. People say, "Oh, he took his eyes of Jesus." I say, he got out of the boat!! Only Jesus could walk unswervingly on the water. Humanity fails us. The other disciples were cowering in the boat or jealously wishing they could have the courage to do some waterwalking. No one ever again got the chance.
My husband is a boat jumper. God says, "GO," and he does. Just like that. I am a boat sitter. If you tump the boat over, I will give it a try, but if everything is smooth, I will keep my seat, thank you very much. Right now God is on the water, Rick has jumped up, and I just can't get the nerve. I know if I do not trust, then I might never know the "waterwalking" feeling.
Faith is fine when it involves your own self, but your kids make it a whole different story. I have boldly asked God to put a leak in my boat to make me stand if it is truly His will. Please join with me in prayer over all of this. We need it.

Time Traveling

2009-08-19T05:40:00.000-07:00

One of my best friends from high school and I went out last night. We went to see The Time Traveler's Wife. Now, despite the amazing previews and rave reviews of the book, the movie is disappointing, disjointing, and slow. This, however was offset for us by the hilarious, outspoken women behind us. We were rolling throughout the movie. They deserved our movie admission money, not Hollywood.
Afterward, we sat in the car and we somehow got into a conversation of our past, certain significant memories of our past. We started talking about if we could have gone to ourselves in the past, when would we go and what we would have said. One time would be in fifth grade, when my best friend and I got in a huge fight, she said horrible things about me and turned half of the class against me, when she decided she wanted to be my best friend again, I said NO THANK YOU. During that time, there were three girls who decided they would be my friend despite it all. Those girls ended up leading me to a group who would be my group of friends in high school. The girls I stop hanging out with...they became part of a wild group in high school. I told Carrie, I just wonder what life would have been like. It is o clear what God was doing in my life during the seemingly "traumatic" time. If I could go to that girl, I would tell her there was a reason, and it would be worth it. I do not know why this time sticks out so strongly, but it is the earliest time in my life that I remember God allowing me pain to lead me to holiness. He chose my holiness over my happiness.
I can remember times since then as well, but I walked away from our conversation with 2 things. One, trust God with the pain or seemingly endless questions, fear, and difficulties. He always has a plan. Second, stop trying to "better" my kids. Teach them their worth no matter what they look like, talk like, behave like, etc. I am not saying do not encourage them to be better, try harder, obey, etc. I am saying I need them to know that they are "perfectly perfect" as I tell them often.
I know this is a weird post, but it was a moving conversation for me. After all we went through in Austin and the questions an uncertainties to follow, I relish the recollections of God's faithfulness in what may feel like His absence.

Catching up, take 2

2009-08-17T13:19:00.000-07:00

Moving on, let's talk about NY. We went there last weekend to look at houses and see everyone at FBC. A sweet new friend had put a bunch of toys together for the kids to play with when they got in town. These pics were taken ten minutes into being there, no lie. The last pic is Rick reacting to someone's tummy ache, if you know what I mean.

When we got home, we all were sick. Our journey home was quite interesting. We were bumped from two flights at our airport on the way home. We were then shuttled to another airport about an hour away. When we got there, we were told that the tickets had not been paid for, so we got bumped again. We then went upstairs to American and got hotel and food vouchers before being shuttled to a DUMP to spend the night, with no luggage, no diapers, etc. NIGHTMARE!! Anyway, we finally got home, rested and healed, and then decided to venture out before Rick left town again. We chose Chuck-E-Cheese, my fave! Now that I have lost 2 sizes, I am willing to be in photographs again. Yes, I am that vain. I have 2 sizes left. HALLELUJAH!

Abbie's Birthday, months later

2009-08-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

I know, I know. Close the mouth, no more jaw dropping. I am finally blogging. I used to be so good at it. In fact, blogging has been therapy for me in the past. We have moved so much, it has helped me get through so much, especially loneliness. And here I am, abandoning it/her/him/ whatever. (:
Ok, so I have pics dating back to Abbie's birthday. I guess I will start there, since I am talking about Austin and loneliness. Abbie's birthday was actually hard. Rick was out of town, so we celebrated as a family a little early. I made the cake myself. The kids had a blast. Brooks and I enjoyed setting up Abbie's dollhouse.

My week

2009-07-31T16:27:00.000-07:00

I had high hopes for this blog, but life happened. It seems like that is what the motif is in my life right now. LIFE HAPPENS. I seem to be in a "keep moving forward even when crap its the fan over and over again" mode. I must say, though, that I am blessed. I have a terrific husband who happens to look mucho sexy with his scruff going on, two healthy happy children, friends who bless me so much. I want to blog all about my trip to NY but my camera is dead and my connection cable is stored up in Austin. I keep meaning to find a cable cord but have yet to get it done.
Following Kyle's funeral, I hopped in the car with the kids, got back to TN after 10.5 hrs, packed and left the next morning at 7 AM. I met Rick in NY. We saw 2 movies, ate out, went to NYC for a couple of days, stayed up late and slept in late. AHHH! My sweet mom kept the kids. We toured Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, went through Times Square, went to and walked out of a comedy show, walked all over the city and had an amazing time! Pictures will come soon. On Sunday Ricked preached a sermon that stormed into people's spirits, minds, and hearts. It was like the Spirit came in that Sunday morning like a rushing wind. There were salvations and rededications by many people. IT WAS AMAZING!! NY has been so refreshing. The expectations, the relationships, the openness, the courage...so much different than what we have experienced in the south.
We still do not have a direction from God as to where we are to go, when, and how. My faith is weary, but that is why we have brothers and sisters in Christ, to lift us up when we are weary.
I promise to post pics soon. I also realized when I closed my other blog down that many people read my blog that I did not know were reading this. That really touched me. Thanks for caring and sharing life with me.
Oh, and I was hired to teach two classes at University of Memphis in the fall in the Human Movement and Science department. I am pumped!

Bad News...

2009-07-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

As I got out of my workshop tonight, I had two messages on Rick's cel (which is mine for the next few days). They were from his dad, who was crying. An hour later, I heard the news, his 28 year old brother had passed away. He laid down to take a nap and never woke up. Just like that, it was over. Kyle always made me smile. Rick was the only educated one in his family, the only one who lived a Christina lifestyle. But despite Kyles stupid choices, his missing teeth, and his country accent, his smile could light up a room. He always was the first to hug me. He remembered all of my family members and asked about each of them by name. He looked me in the eyes and genuinely cared. He had a big heart and wanted to make people happy. I will never forget his goofy grin or how he would look at his big bro with such adoring eyes. Rick was his hero. My husband is up in NY by himself. I am here, desperately trying to make arrangements wishing I could be holding Rick. PLEASE PRAY for him.

My Ten Compliments

2009-07-18T08:27:00.001-07:00

So I put my sweet husband on a plane today, actually this morning - early. I was hoping I would not sob, but he annoyed my by forgetting his phone and having to take mine. That kept me from crying! That being said, I will not have my cel until Friday. I join him in NYC. I have been twice, but I would love restaurant suggestions.
I really have nothing to blog about per se, so don't expect anything too good out of this one.
I will say I got a message from a friend whose husband went through something similar to Rick. In it, she shared with me how I encouraged her so much by sharing something I thought was obvious. I told her she was a great wife of a church planter. I thought nothing of it, because I was stating the obvious. I found out later how much she needed to hear that - that it had a profound effect on her. It really made me realize how we keep so much to ourselves. We think nice things but often assume someone knows them and never share. That being said, I just want to share some compliments. Here are the first ten compliments that pop in my head. If I do not give you one, it does not mean I do not find you wonderful.
#1 Kylie, you can write! You really are gifted. You can make reading about nothing in particular very entertaining.
#2 Rose, I am proud of what you have done with the mommy podcast (don't know technical terms). That is creative!
#3 Amy, the world does not seem to lure you the way it does most people. Possessions do not matter enough to spend money you do not have.
#4 Millage, I just love you. There is so much about you that there would be no way to describe how much of a beautiful soul mate you are! You are my free version of Tori Spelling!
#5 Mom, you are never lazy. Even when you are dog tired, you do not stop. I admire how you just move forward and get everything done.
#6 Leigh, you are smart and have a sense of generosity and compassion that is uncommon in doctor, science-minded people
#7 Carebear, everyone loves you because you make them feel like they are the funniest, smartest, most interesting people on the planet. Everyone feels special with you.
#8 Rick, you do not know how to lack faith. You have had your butt kicked in ministry, been burned, but you get up and still love to serve Jesus. If I could only have your faith on your lowest days, I would be miles further in this process.
#9 Kim, you are not afraid to be you. That is a rarity in white collar, educated society.
#10 Dad, you never read this but I cannot help it. Your help, listening, and encouragement have helped me get on my feet again.
Those are my ten compliments. I encourage/challenge everyone who reads this to do the same. Maybe not in a blog, but in an email, phone call, letter, over coffee. You have no idea where people are and what they need to hear.

It is mine again!

2009-07-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog! I am glad you took the time to come read my new one! I hope this will lead me to start posting again. We shall see, right? These past few months have been a gut-wrenching, heartbreaking journey. Up until the past couple of weeks, I have felt as if I would not come out victorious, but God knew and has shown otherwise. I have dealt with such deep rooted anger after the way these few men at ABC treated Rick. How dare they?! The anger was destroying me. God led me to an Anger Workbook that has been amazing. It is changing so much about the way I view things and is helping me work through some feelings. You see, I am a person who really needs to see justice. I like to see wrongs righted. I have to discuss my feelings and get things cleared. With the way these 5 men treated Rick, I had lots to "let off," but they lied to the church and did not allow us an opportunity to respond. I have had nowhere to "place" all of these emotions, and so they began to eat me alive, inside out. Guess what?! Because I drop the anger and any retribution, it does not mean I am saying they are ok or that I am conceding to them. It means I care more about being spiritually and emotionally healthy. It means my love and trust of God outweighs my anger, pain, and desire to see these men pay.
It is funny, I have a master degree in counseling, but this book is still really teaching me. I feel like Memphis is the Balm of Gilead for us. I am healing. Rick is healing. We are healing, as a we. Our bond is stronger than it has been since he started ministry. The church in NY is filled with beautiful people that are open and accepting and not pressuring us. Don't get me wrong, I cry like a baby after Rick gets on the airplane, and I miss him like crazy. I worry he will crash in a plane or something like that, but I am still in a better place. I am finally losing weight - 2 sizes down already. I feel like I am finding myself again. Oh God is so good!
My blogs will be about whatever I want. I am not censoring, being pastor wifeish or worrying. This is my place to express my thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc., as I FIDO and live life!