Welcome to my new blog! I am glad you took the time to come read my new one! I hope this will lead me to start posting again. We shall see, right? These past few months have been a gut-wrenching, heartbreaking journey. Up until the past couple of weeks, I have felt as if I would not come out victorious, but God knew and has shown otherwise. I have dealt with such deep rooted anger after the way these few men at ABC treated Rick. How dare they?! The anger was destroying me. God led me to an Anger Workbook that has been amazing. It is changing so much about the way I view things and is helping me work through some feelings. You see, I am a person who really needs to see justice. I like to see wrongs righted. I have to discuss my feelings and get things cleared. With the way these 5 men treated Rick, I had lots to "let off," but they lied to the church and did not allow us an opportunity to respond. I have had nowhere to "place" all of these emotions, and so they began to eat me alive, inside out. Guess what?! Because I drop the anger and any retribution, it does not mean I am saying they are ok or that I am conceding to them. It means I care more about being spiritually and emotionally healthy. It means my love and trust of God outweighs my anger, pain, and desire to see these men pay.
It is funny, I have a master degree in counseling, but this book is still really teaching me. I feel like Memphis is the Balm of Gilead for us. I am healing. Rick is healing. We are healing, as a we. Our bond is stronger than it has been since he started ministry. The church in NY is filled with beautiful people that are open and accepting and not pressuring us. Don't get me wrong, I cry like a baby after Rick gets on the airplane, and I miss him like crazy. I worry he will crash in a plane or something like that, but I am still in a better place. I am finally losing weight - 2 sizes down already. I feel like I am finding myself again. Oh God is so good!
My blogs will be about whatever I want. I am not censoring, being pastor wifeish or worrying. This is my place to express my thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc., as I FIDO and live life!